Relations to unsurpassed scams

All pretty things are not mine for the taking.
:P

Okay I do notice that I left this blog for dusts, but well I'm back and soon to refurnish this stinking blog.

Originally this blog was a space to vent my depression and maybe hope that it could help share my feelings, but living life at it is now, I've got no time at all to rant. What a life shhhheeessh.

Living for 20 years of my life the outlook of things have definitely shrunk, everything looked so petty and I'm definitely lost for reason. I've got a total blankhole of what I should even be worried about and what not.

Soon soon i'll come out with my own brand and logo so all you hammy lil people brace yourself for ME!!!! XD

Yea soon to refurnish my blog, anyways I doubt anyone enjoyed reading my emo stuff, but no worries if you do ( which is weird if you do ), I'll have my pice of story to ell in another form, hopefully I get the time to do it TT. so stay tune XD

A sin called Pride

Left alone as always to deal with thing which non could comprehend

Slowly juggling with danger on the tips of my fingers

My tips held this pride, so much to just drop and fall into slumber

going hand to hand with lust and greed, i've gravely sinned,

a sin i've committed since i was born,

the pride of an empty vessel,

Though i could no longer intimidate,

all i am covered up with dust of deceptions,

from mine and others,

where lies my pride?

to forcefully fall back on people,

have it has really gone so far off,

so much which it can't be seen no more?

Constantly playing mind games which those who are not,

just to triumph them under my toes,

how i was, i miss,

so fall so deeply in,

in a shallow surface of what truth is,

my pride stands,

I'm falling alone,

Greed took truths away,

lust took love away,

and pride....took friends away,

which will take my life?

I'm slowly wondering,

this is not my saddism,

it's my pride....

Pain....the 2nd sin Lust

Mindlessly staring, I thought i could,
Lies ahead of me, i feel,
Mumbling words of comfort over self preservation,
I differ, I'm different, I'm unaccepted,
This lust, for company,
just a shrug if I may,
Is Saturday going to be different,
the sudden change of fate, the sudden burst of truth,
I may be lead to my dismay,
If i may.

Feeling hopeless over tides of discomfort,
It shone,
Am I forsaken I asked, or have I forsake,
leaving only a shell of solitude,
It's not pretty, but petty yes,
This soul's light has darken,
dimmed,
Given up is the word,
no motivation to live on, nor to do things I once wanted,
It's lead disarray,
I'm lost in blue,
yes a color,
color of death.

Diagnosed with depression,
I can't hold back,
It's just not fun to live anymore,
all my dreams just went downstream,
maybe floating,
but to jump off the cliff to catch it,
is unheard off.

Suicidal, so very suicidal,
blank, so very blank,
can anyone please bring me back my eyes, my ears, my life
A soul mate is lacking,
one which I have wished for endlessly,
Since I was no longer a womb.......

It's back...

These aggresions are back,
These tasteless feeling,
all rotting in my mind , everyone
Can't run anymore, delusions are cleared,
no distractions, and it comes,
feeling helpless all over again,
I belong nowhere, I know that much at least,
but it doesn't mean u could creep out of me,
My fears are being erased, while creating new ones,
If all is erased, i would not have the energy to control my limitations,
Depression,
really ever so painful,

suicide is the solution huh?
I'm doing so, so ever slowly.......

Done!

I'm giving up,
no longer feeling attached to friendship, relationship,
chasing for attention my whole life,
I'm just going to go blank,

I've been blank for a few days now,
refusing to think,
Done!
I told myself,
It's just depressing,
I won't be found in pictures,
I hate them,
I won't be found in conversations,
I dis them,

I'm unimportant,
I know.!.

I'm going to built my own utopia,
my own dreams,
And lead and live my life,
in solitude,
being blank.

I'm just going to fulfill all my promises and that's it.
Why should I accept when I'm unaccepted,
just doing things I don't like so I'll be sucked into a group of people I'm trying to appeal to?
I wonder.

Emptiness is a fortune, only to some.
Others won't even get to feel a hint of it.
I'm just going to devote my promises and responsibilities to those needed,
I'm done with doing so to those I want to.

I'll be a driver fine,
I'll be a toy fine,
I'll be someone people could bounce off fine,
but I ain't going to let it destroy me anymore,
don't even try to feel bad doing so,
cause you need not worry about so,
If it's just to save your face,
keep it.
I'm not working for you or appealing to you cause you manipulate me,
It's that I just shut an eye and act dumb.

I want to try and see if anyone is able to,
really, I'll be grateful if you could,
cause when that happens it's the day I drop doubting people,
an achievement to me, for this forced in solitude soul.

Don't bother asking if I'm okay just cause you feel left out.
Really just keep it.

I'm done with it!

1st sin ~GREED~

~Greed~

I want a hug,

I want a massage,

I want your attention,

I want luxuries,

I want life.

I want death,

I want no resentments,

I want love,


I want care.
These are my greed,
Insatiable greed.

My sins are various,
colored coded.
My greed is green as oppose to my red lust.

It is all equal,second to non,
tying up knots
These are my greed

Once again~

It's swelling again,

Alway hitting me,

at the wrong time,

this feeling of desperation,

7 months long,

I dared not,

Is it going to happen again?

I'm repeating it,

from scratch?

Should I beat around the bush,

or just run fully ahead,

I wonder,

someday I will,

maybe a year