Chasing away!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Slowly but surely,
I'm chasing everyone away,
glad for those who stayed
and no resentment towards those who didn't
I'm grateful,but like I've said it's impossible to change,
which of my attitude is the problem,
the fake or the faked?

Real one I hope not, because there never was once i showed,
at least not to anyone I know
Oh well, I'm strong I said,
but now I really wonder,
If you would turn around and stab me
I really wonder.....

Lazy to put words in abstract,
just straight,
If you are reading this,Thanks :)
you know who you are :)

If I'm really your friend, then please allow me to comfort you as how you wish to for me ^^
Those avoiding me I'm still here if I'm needed
It's the responsibilities of my words keeping me around,
I'm not being good, I'm merely wishing that I could really find someone to talk to that's all
One whom need not think too much but just understand,understand the circumstances surrounding me
And accept me

Thanks again but I don't know when I will stop nor would I know when I would die
I appreciate it a lot that you are concern about my death
but please do not joke about going to hell with me
I'll die alone as I was born, Alone
Babies are fine always accepted,Adults are fine,always rejected
What I say is what I mean for the first time in the open,no farce no facade just sincerity

I'm glad I have a really small group of friends whom accepted me
I seldom call peoples friends,just acquaintances,
but you are,and you and you and you and you
really grateful, don't know if you guys/girls would accept me when I finally out open
but I'm not going to be bothered thinking about that
You all may leave as please,doors are open,
but I hope maybe one would stay,
I'm tired of chasing,just to be friends,
chasing not for people but for the understanding called friend,
we are rare cases really,because we are suicidal yet rationale
We hold stress a lot really, but we don't shed tears in front,
just deep inside, yea I'm a guy
a genuine one, and a feminist
consider it my respect to the only gender whom accepted me before
no other meaning.no other reason just pure respect,
but It's different now,It's mix gender, but I can't shake it off, that respect
You have my gratitude,from every inch of my soul.

If no one would choose to understand you, I would as a friend, a close one
nothing more nothing less, so rest assured no hidden feelings
because I dare not, and will not, I'm incompetent
not a worth to anyone, and never will, merely a tool
that's me I guess
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for listening,you know who you are :P
I listen a lot too bluek hehe but I'm stronger I think hehe
Take it easy yea ^^ If you ever read this.